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Legacy Guestbook [May. 23rd, 2013|08:09 pm]
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[User Picture]From: [info]dimestore_romeo
2013-06-10 07:30 pm (UTC)


I like the much longer sections - sometimes the old quick switches seemed a little odd, or a character's thought process in one section would seem a bit too rushed/not fleshed out enough. This way is a lot more detailed and the longer focus on each character feels deeper(?) than it was. It's hard to describe, but in some of the old old FL stuff I felt like character's motivations and leap from one thought/emotion to another passed by too fast, or the writing was too sketched out? More draft/chatlike, whereas this is more polished.

I usually check the name on each tag - it did throw me a little that one character might get three tags in a row, because obviously I am used to a more back and forth kind of thing, but I like this better? Like I said, more detailed and more tightly focused.

I have been caught out a couple of times when - I think it's the section when Kakashi puts the guy through two walls, and then we flip over from his and Ryouma's more or less synchronised pov to Genma, and it felt like there was a gap in the action? I can see the reason for that - there isn't a need to repeat a situation from another character's pov when it has happened, if everything is happening as it happens. (edit - and upon looking at that bit again it is nicely continous, it was just the shock of the switch from Raidou+Genma as masked strangers in Kakashi's view to their own povs observing Kakashi and Ryouma.)

Hmmmmm. I think I just noticed that more because it was the two separate stories coming together very quickly. The more I reread I appreciate that there is less *reacting* to the last tag in the next and so on (e.g in FL Kakashi says/does something, and then Ryouma reflects on it and responds, and then Kakashi takes that in and responds...), which is almost a repeat - it does seem snappier and more solidly continuous because of a stricter linearity.

Phew! That got long. I think this is all because I'm rereading the old and reading the new, and my separation between the two isn't that good yet. But after I've finished my reread of FL I think it will be easier to look at AL more...coherently. And get in to its style. xD