| Legacy Guestbook
||[May. 23rd, 2013|08:09 pm]
Okay, first off, after reading everything in one ravenous go, all I have to say is oh my goodness I loved everything. I just wanted to pick up all the characters and give them hugs. I’ll hug the writers too, while I’m at it – or maybe just give you some quick first impressions :)
Don’t Fear the Dark
This was fascinating to me; it is both distinctly childlike (“Stabbing had been the plan, followed by a secretive burial under a pile of big heavy rocks, just to make sure.”) and Kakashi-like (The chief principle had been deny everything.), and combining those two things must not be an easy feat, but you did it excellently.
We Were Giants Once
I loved the banter in this. Good old Ryouma, causing mayhem at all ages.
“Since most of the things Ryouma knew how to write were dirty, she had a valid point.”
That line got me smiling – so did this post entirely, save that very last line. Perfect way to end it, I think. Left me wondering what little Ryouma thought about the sudden serious tone shift.
Burning on the Western Front
I got chills. The offbeat, detached, almost choppy tone was perfect; very appropriate for the setting, but very jarring since it’s so different from Raidou’s usual (“Monday comes, and he almost dies.”). The way Raidou was keeping track of days and weeks throughout the whole thing really pulled it all together. Sidenote – the present tense worked really well for this. I liked it lots.
Suffer the Children
Ooh, this was good. A set-up for things to come, possibly; but oh, Genma. The last third or so, where you explored his thought process about the whole thing, was so sobering and heartbreaking and wonderfully written. This line “He remembered the Hokage of three nights ago—small, almost frail-looking next to his ANBU.An illusion, surely, since everyone knew Sarutobi Hiruzen was the greatest ninja alive.” I loved in particular, because not only is it a great representation of Genma’s thoughts, but it really sets off Sarutobi’s role in this universe.
After the Ending
In the Fallen Leaves verse, I really enjoyed getting to see those occasional snippets of Minato, so I’m thrilled to see him back and alive and well. But my goodness his first impression here was heart-wrenching. It’s so succinct, and it just hits hard with every line. Love love loved it. The paragraph starting with “Minato envies him, all the same.” Had to be my favorite in this. And despite all that, he’s still managing to hold down the fort.
Secrets That We Keep
I’ll preface this by saying I read the bios after I read the threads, so I was so intrigued as to why Katsuko was so distressed – there is just a lot of raw Katsuko in this, and I really enjoyed reading it. It was palpable. You had some really excellent tension thrumming through this whole post.
“She remembers thinking that he’d looked very small for a legend, an old and tired man with guilt weighing heavy on his shoulders.” I loved this line, and I loved the way it clashed with what Genma said about Sarutobi and the way it tried to debunk Minato’s funeral speech all the while.
And those are my first thoughts on the introductions. Thank you guys so, so much for sharing! I’m really excited for whatever you’ve got in store for this project. <3
Wow, thank you so much for these fantastic reviews! Definitely counts as a hug in my book. :) I'm so pleased you're back on board with us and enjoying the ride!
Thank you so much for your wonderful review! It gave me warm fuzzy feelings and put a smile on my face. It is like an internet hug. I am very, very glad that you came with us to Legacy, and I hope you continue to enjoy the threads that we post.
Hey Kinzee! thank you for your absolutely wonderful feedback. You must be a writer yourself to be such an astute and thoughtful reader. Your review absolutely made my day. *hug hug* Can't wait to hear what you think of the new stories as they unfold!
*ROLLS AROUND IN DELIGHT*
Eeee, thank you! I'm always fascinated to see what lines resonated with people, and your feedback (as ever!) is wonderful. I'm really glad the present tense worked for you in Raidou's oneshot -- we almost never do it for official threads, but it's one of my favorite tenses to play around with.
I am LE DELIGHT that Kakashi's oneshot blended the kid!voice and the adult!voice well enough that you could see shades of the latter in the former. I know his adult self very well, but I've never done backstory that's gone quite that far back before -- it was a neat exercise to start at his foundations. I'm really glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and your hugs. <3