As Shadows Grow Long
I love all the converging politics happening - the world seems really deep and layered, and the sense of scale makes me feel a beautiful smallness to the team and their work, that they really are a small and necessary part of a whole, but not indispensable or amazingly special.
I also really like to see the team's opinions of each other and the different experiences they had of the same mission. It's interesting the little secrets that they keep from each other - just to themselves, or with one other person, so the same politics play out within the team too.
The Morning Breaks
I really like the importance given to friendships here - that romances are not the only kind of deep and solid relationships, or the only relevant ones.
Also the intrigue surrounding Katsuko is very nice - like everyone is putting her history together with puzzle pieces that they are fed and can't quite tell which facts are real and which are fake. She's very cagey, even when she doesn't want to be. I like that we don't even know the truth of it, really.
Armor Wearing Thin
"...I think the worst thing I ever had to eat for a mission was duck eggs."
Ryouma stared at him. "If that was the worst…"
"With the baby duck inside."
Boiled embryonic duck eggs had been a fairly popular streetfood in southern Fire Country, imported from Mangrove, when Ryouma was small. He didn't mention that. "Ah," he said instead, vaguely. "Okay." He thought this over, and added encouragingly, "Eww."
Genma blinked. "You like them," he accused.
Lolololol. The clash of personalities and histories on this team is going to be so much fun.
And Ryouma trying to gracefully negotiate his past dalliance with Raidou while being completely transparent. Hahaha!
I also appreciate the running theme throughout these threads of "you can be attracted to someone and not actually want to have sex with them." It's a very adult thing and I like the depth of thought given to the team's relationships with each other and their negotiations with romantic and sexual attraction.
What I really love is that Genma looks at Ryouma's destructive jutsu and sees the potential for healing.
"But medical jutsu. That was different. That was rare, valued, respected. Anyone could kill; how many shinobi could heal?"
I think this could really round out Ryouma's nature and balance him out nicely.
We Started Nothing
I just want to say again that I really like that each combination of team members get their own threads and growth together. It's nicely balanced, and actually stops me from becoming biased in favour or one character or another! They are all getting their deserved time.
Love the honest appreciation between Kakashi and Katsuko and their growing respect for each other.
In addition for Kakashi to ask Katsuko to teach him her fighting style and to learn it honestly, and to take joy from fighting with out jutsu...that was lovely.
He’d been up and down that road with Rin, and it hadn’t ended well for anyone. I AM INTRIGUED. I find Kakashi's issues with relationships fascinating, and he is such a closed book even in your tumblr Q&As. Hardly a clue what is going on with him, and I love it.
2014-01-02 07:45 pm (UTC)
...and I exceeded the character length....
Leading the Lost Ones and To the Rescue
It's always so interesting to get inside Minato's head! His waiting out Asuma's interrogation to make absolutely sure he was on the right side, otherwise he knew Asuma would have to die...because he doesn't quite trust Sandaime, after Orochimaru. Much more sharp-edged than fanon, since he's usually depicted as a bubble-head. Whereas here he is very clearly a bit quieter, a bit more tired, and palpably a widower.
"Get ready to fall," he said, and opened the universe again. SO COOL. I could read buckets about Minato seeding places with seals so that he can jump through space in an instant. And with an A+ landing!
Breakfast of Champions
I LOVE THIS UNCONVENTIONAL FAMILY.
“BATH IS READY,” Naruto bellowed, before Kakashi could answer. Water splashed distantly, in an overflowing kind of way. “UH. VERY READY.”
“I expect an answer,” Minato said, and vanished in burst of chakra.
There were Hiraishin seals planted all over the house, because why scramble down the hallway like a normal person when you could get the last word and step out of the universe?
SO MUCH LOVE.
The explanation of Kakashi's ANBU mask was fascinating and hilarious.
Kakashi twitched his shoulders, shaking that off as currently unimportant—as though he took a personal interest in other people any other day of the week. <333333333333333333333333333
Everything is so domestic. I like that Kakashi and Minato's relationship isn't clearly defined - familial, teacher and student, who knows? But they are essential to each other's lives. I wonder that Kakashi is taking Kushina's role in a way, which makes me nervous about how long things can go on this way without things ending up in tears.
“So nothing that’d make a difference?” Kakashi said, feeling a smile curl briefly. He tipped Minato’s chin up, making him drop his hand, and lathered him up with the thick, white, sandalwood-scented foam that Minato kept as one of his few indulgences.
So this scene was ridiculously hot. I feel like a bad person that that was my first thought, but so true! xD
He levered himself upright, shining-naked and unselfconscious about it, which was about the norm, and flicked a spike of Kakashi’s hair. “Early training again?”
Kakashi shrugged, and waited for Minato to get halfway into the bath before he said, “With Ueno, actually.”
Minato made a startled sound. There was a slip and a splash before he caught himself hastily against the side of the tub, and Kakashi snagged the overflowing water to start his own scrub-down.
I love Minato and will always find him hilarious, especially when someone gets one over on him. This entire scene is so intimate that it isn't...uncomfortable but has sort of weird feeling to it, of two people with strange boundaries that gives them kind of an ambiguous-seeming relationship.
I really liked Minato seeing the mission through Kakashi's eyes.
Then there was Ryouma.
Kakashi slouched lower in the water, until it crept up warm over his mouth, soaking the facecloth so that it clung wetly to the bridge of his nose.
Ryouma who also flirted and fought, and promised a taste of his signature jutsu for a glimpse at Kakashi’s face. Who’d massacred the demon Kakashi couldn’t finish, and played with Naruto, and corrupted Kakashi’s points system, and curled a hand around Kakashi’s hip while he said I’m flexible.
His crush was old, well-worn, and mostly burned out, but every now and then it rekindled to bite him—especially when the rest of him was stirred up. Crush was the wrong word, really. It was love, and sometimes it wanted to rip out throats. He took a slow breath and a half-second reality check. Minato was his Hokage, his former teacher, still grieving a marriage that had ended in blood and fire, and most importantly, not interested. Never would be. Which was how it was supposed to work. Kakashi could guard him, kill for him, and learn from him—and that was where the line ended.
My suspicions confirmed. Oh dear, that got tragic horribly fast. Kakashi is so horribly transparent and I hope this will be addressed again further down the line. I love that you brought it up with such a nice build.
Oh, one more thing! Are you going to index the responses to the tumblr asks? x
Naruto is just a ball of adorable, the intimacy between Kakashi and Minato is fantastic, and Kakashi going to see Genma was brilliant.
I absolutely love Genma's attempts to connect, and Kakashi's self-criticism cleverly disguised to most as extreme confidence. So, so lovely.
2014-02-23 04:39 am (UTC)
I was very excited to see that you guys are still writing these characters. I've enjoyed the stories I've read so far, and I look forward to seeing where you're going with all these new plotlines!
2014-03-05 03:29 am (UTC)
D'awww! Team bonding via violence and the suggestion of goats.
I have a feeling that goats will make Kakashi uncomfortable for some time. XD
I really adore how they're clicking as a team. Thanks for writing!
2014-03-05 05:09 am (UTC)
I just discovered Legacy a couple months ago through Ki's fanfiction profile. I love this universe so much and I've been so impressed by all the detail you've put into worldbuilding! The ANBU trials, the weapons, the spars - it's soooo cool to see someone fleshing out the Naruto world.
I was surprised by the way the actions scenes flow even when you switch POVs. I also really liked how the team works together to take down the queen - it's not just about a single epic warrior cause THEY'RE ALL EPIC haha
Naruto is adorable (squeeee!) Katsuko is SO AWESOME, and I love how you write the team's interactions. And the personalities and quirks are so consistent between the five of you, I have no idea how you keep them straight.
So happy that you're writing again XD
one favorite recent bit (there's a lot of great moments but I'll limit myself):
"“Then stop antagonizing people while you wear it,” Kakashi said, and offered a hand down to her at the exact same time Ryouma did. Ryouma blinked, Kakashi paused, and Katsuko grabbed both of them, letting them haul her up. "
AWWWWWW the kiddies are bonding!! It was great to see Kakashi engaging more and I can't wait to see where you're going with Genma teaching Ryouma medical jutsu.
thanks for all your hard work! I'm seriously addicted :)
I find it really interesting that Kakashi seems to have taken Genma's advice to heart, or at least seems to be doing something with it.
I also love the Ryouma/Kakashi/Katsuko tackle pile - for me it was lovely to see how they acted when they were together as a team.
I really appreciated that Ryouma's mistake was approached and resolved. Although it seemed like a small comedic thing, for someone like Kakashi who is very uncomfortable with situation like that it was nice for Ryouma to realise that actually, he really had overstepped his bounds (something that Katsuko actually seems wiser to, which I liked).
I do like the subtle way that Katsuko seems to be tuning into what makes Kakashi tick, and what this reveals about what might be going on under her surface.
I thought it was a really good move to have Ryouma approach Genma with his problem and receive solid advice - it really puts Genma into more of the teacher role, especially as he really will be teaching Ryouma to heal in the future. It was also good to see Genma realising that he really needed to watch his boundaries too in order to be a good teacher/mentor.
Ryouma’s gaze slid sideways, coming to rest at Genma’s left shoulder. “Made a pass at him,” he said, voice so low Genma had to lean in to hear it. “I was joking, but I don't think he realized it.” He paused. “Mostly joking.”
That sounded like a genuine confession, which meant this morning was just blooming with unusual developments. Ryouma flirted the way Katsuko teased and Raidou was punctual, but Kakashi’d been used to that within three days of Team Six’s forming. This was definitely something else.
I also realised that this connects to a previous comment I made on another thread - that we didn't get to see Ryouma's side of things at the time - and it is very interesting to see how he approached the incident at the time and in retrospect. And what Genma sees - the edge of sincerity to Ryouma's offer - is a little hilarious and also intriguing, and I like that it seems to be setting up for future plots.
I like that this fairly serious conversation is happening interspersed with Kakashi and Katsuko's fire-throwing somersault antics.
"You get it, though, right? I wasn't— It's only 'cause it was him.”
In retrospect, I don't think I'm reading this line right - it was him, as in Kakashi would react badly and that is fairly unusual, or it was him as in he wanted to approach Kakashi is particular?
"Good." Genma did sound pleased this time, almost smug. "I'll teach you that jutsu when we start working on stuff. It's great for strains and tightness."
He still meant it. For real, even now. Even after—
Ryouma had to press his hands to his thighs to stop them shaking. "When are we going to start? Have you asked taichou yet?"
I LOVE this. I love that Ryouma wants to heal so much that his hands shake when he think he might be denied it, and that deep down he wants to balance out the death he deals with the ability to heal.
Upside down, she grinned like a carved pumpkin. “Beat that!”
Kakashi sighed. “Seriously?”
“Hey, if you can’t do it…”
The boxwood was almost burned out. Kakashi stamped on the last sparks, dropped onto his hands, and flipped himself backwards down the field. There wasn’t anything complicated in a series of rhythmic handsprings, even across uneven ground. When he reached Katsuko, he launched up into a double layout, twisted, and came down on one hand.
“Happy?” he asked, but the space where Katsuko had been was empty.
She landed on his upturned feet a half-second later, perching like a bird. “Y’know, it’s really easy to get you to do stuff.”
This was great! I like cameraderie between this pair, and how Kakashi seems to be tuning into his teammates a bit better - especially Katsuko - and even gives in to her whims.
“Then stop antagonizing people while you wear it,” Kakashi said, and offered a hand down to her at the exact same time Ryouma did.
Ryouma blinked, Kakashi paused, and Katsuko grabbed both of them, letting them haul her up. “Then I’d never be able to wear it,” she complained.
I might have shrieked out loud a bit here, because SERIOUSLY, this shows how far they are coming. <3
2014-03-05 09:32 pm (UTC)
Glad you are you guys are feeling better! And back with an amazing thread. I really enjoyed watching the "kids" developing into a team. I hadn't realized how hard Kakashi took Ryouma's advance until he until he unleashed his wrath on him during practice. Guess I'm as dense as Ryouma about things. Good thing Genma has good people reading skills, or the morning could have gotten a lot worse.
Kakashi and Katsuko had already made great progress in "We'd Started Nothing". He seems more comfortable around her quirkiness here. Not as comfortable as she and Ryouma are, probably never will be, but he seemed to enjoy (or at least tolerate better) their fire water game of tag and even engaged in her gymnastics play.
“I appreciate the apology,” he said, and because he knew it would make the difference between formality and sincerity to Ryouma, offered his hand. “I look forward to running this mission together.”
These words showed things had truly changed between the two. They were not just on the same team, they were teammates, maybe even friends.
Poor Radidou's was kinda like the working father who misses his children's first steps, but when Kakashi went over to the couch and sat on the arm next to Ryouma he got to see his family had grown up while he was away.
As always, the action was so well written you could see every move. Can't wait for this mission to unfold. It promises to be epic!
Thanks for writing and sharing.
2014-03-07 12:15 am (UTC)
team-bonding time is so fantastic, and the way they all interact with each other is so, so interesting.
as per usual, i don't have the energy for line-by-line critique, but i can sum up what it would say: yay the writers are recovering, yay there's a thread, yay team, yay kakashi, yay ryouma, etc, et al, repeat over and over until literally every character has been gushed over. <3
(and after all those posts on the tumblr, i am SO EXCITED for whatever is to come, hhhhhhhh.)
but in all seriousness, i was having an awful, terrible, no good v bad day, and this was such a treat. thank you, and i hope you all only get happier and healthierrrr
~that'll be it.
2014-03-09 04:38 am (UTC)
I've been lurking for quite a while, hanging back in the corner and making excited jazzhands whenever you guys updated with a new thread, but the recent hiatus made me realize how much I've enjoyed the incredible storytelling here and I just wanted to thank you guys. For writing good stories, for being lovely human beings, and for being on the mend (I wish you all the best and speedy recoveries!).
Also, this is pretty dumb, but I enjoy the little medical details SO MUCH. I love all of the Legacy characters to bits but Genma might edge everyone out to be my favorite mostly because he is a wonderful combination of sleek power and adorably easy going human being, but also because he is a medic with magical healing powers who practices solid, realistic medicine. He is such a good health care provider. Ryouma's delight about being taught how to heal? I so totally get that (*-*) and it was such a beautifully written moment. I can't wait to see how their relationship develops in the future!
I have a huge huge huge competence kink actually and Legacy just hits it for me on so many levels. If I listed everything I loved about the writing, I would have to just copy and paste the entire source text in the comment box. I have so much respect and awe for the amazing work that you guys do. Thank you so much for sharing and creating such a great community on both tumblr and here on the guestbook :D
(Specific things that delight me so much that I have to mention them here or my heart might burst:
-everything that Katsuko says but oh man the goats. I howled nonstop for about ten minutes in my bed and gave myself the hiccups. No regrets.
-Kakashi and Minato and Rin and Turtle, and oh gosh, this little found family tears my heart and knits it back together with super soft baby yarn
-Katsuko & Raidou's brilliant sibling dynamic!!
-Ryouma and Kakashi slowly figuring out boundaries and how to be mature adult friends and working through issues and apologizing!! \o/
-ASUMA. That tiny glimpse of him in the middle of the wreckage of the Daimyou's palace felt like a knife in my ribs and ever since I've been dying to see more of him.
-Raidou being such a great Captain with really attractive broad shoulders and rules and an earnestness that kind of hurts and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Raidou's so great. God, why do they all have to be so wonderful and fictional?
I'm going to stop here because I'm pretty sure I've embarrassed myself fifty times over >//////<)
2014-03-27 08:12 am (UTC)
(Hopefully this is readable. I do go on..)
Hey I'm a long time lurker, de-lurking here, because I thought you should all know how appreciated the work you're doing on Legacy is.
I've been following since Fallen Leaves (actually, I stumbled across some of your guys' solo fanfic so long ago I don't really remember how) and even though I no longer follow Naruto, or even the fandom, I religiously look for updates on Legacy every damn day XD I'm continually blown away by the quality and beauty and poignancy in all of your writing, as well as the thought you've all put into world building and the little atmospheric details. I've been enthralled by the shinobi world which Kishimoto sketched out for us since I was 11, and the way you all tap into it, flesh it out and straighten out Kishi's ridiculous inconsistencies seriously fills me with glee! I cannot read Legacy without spending the next few hours thinking about the 'verse you have all created and how it functions. It's pretty much my canon haha. I definitely prefer it.
Reading and re-reading the updates is always an experience for me. I practically seize with glee at how clever the turns of phrase are, I smile constantly, jump up when I can't handle the tension before immediately dragging my laptop back open. When I read a new update the only thing that can interrupt me is the sharp, insightful writing itself, which often requires a moment of reflection.
As for characterization--if I had any of your guys' skill for figuratively language, I would wax poetry for you. Glee. SO MUCH GLEE. You nail it on so many levels. I must admit, I spent most of my formative years nursing an unholy crush on Kakashi, so Dark's characterization of him hits all of the most efficient, fiercely loyal, socially-maladapted-yet-acutely-brilliant notes. But while I may have come for Dark's Kakashi, I stayed for the rest of the cast, including your disarmingly endearing original characters. I will read literally anything you people write.
I was a teeny bit disappointed to see some of the Fallen cast get cut, but once I plunged into the Legacy verse (rather late I must admit, as I didn't want to immerse myself until after I finished my school responsibilities haha it would have been bad news.) I was really taken with Katsuko and Ryouma, especially with the new dynamics between everyone. I think it was ultimately a really solid decision to restructure things for Legacy, and I'm excited to see where you guys take it.
I could probably go on for ages here but uh.. I'll try to wrap it up. I'll try to mete out my ramblings in more readable chunks in the future. It's been building up, and the point of this all was actually so that in the future I can drop fanart on your figurative doorstep and run away, chicken shit as I am, without alarming you. I have literally not de-lurked on the internet in several years until this week, but um, I really have quite a number of sketches and shit, and I thought you might enjoy actually seeing them haha. How would you prefer me to get those to you? Where is your collective doorstep, anyway? ;)
2014-04-16 06:19 pm (UTC)
Hello! I'm new to reading Legacy, actually. I found the link to this on the FanFiction profile of...sorry, I don't remember which writer *scratches head embarrassed*. Anyway, LOVE the story line.
Three-year-old Naruto is just...oh, my goodness. I could die laughing reading about his interactions with Kakashi, Ryouma, and, of course, his dad.
I've always wanted to see more of Minato in the original, and seeing him fly off the screen from your writing is like a dream come true. He doesn't get enough love, sometimes, and I appreciate what you are doing here.
Genma...I like the depiction of him as the field medic. Kind of the "two sides to a coin" thing going on, what with him also being the poisons expert. This is a sort of guilty pleasure for me, but I love reading about Genma as a "mother hen" type of personality. It's not too strong here, since he is in ANBU, but I like the way he cares for his teammates.
I'm not quite sure what to make of Raidou at this point, actually. Not referring to your writing, but Raidou was always a bit of a mystery to me, even in the original manga and anime. You guys have fleshed him out more than I expected, and I hope to get to know him better. He seems decent enough...it can't be easy having an ANBU team like his though. I feel for him sometimes.
The depiction of Kakashi is well-done, in my opinion. I see the beginnings of his transition from up-tight, almost anti-social prodigy jounin to the laid-back, dry-humoured sensei of Team 7 that we all know and love. Great work, guys.
Katsuko and Ryouma are...definitely interesting characters. I don't know whether I like them or not, yet. Especially with Ryouma, I think he's earning points with me and then he goes and does something stupid (like trying to hit on Kakashi...I mean, really?) and I just have to shake my head. I do appreciate your giving them painful flaws and distinctive personality traits, though. Most OCs that I read are too perfect or ridiculously angsty and all-around unreal. You made these two to be very human, which I'm grateful for.
Can't wait to see what else you all have in store! Keep up the great work!
2014-04-24 06:32 pm (UTC)
Reunions and Rumination / Grow Teeth and Pursue
Reunions and Rumination
I am really interested in how the Kakashi and Asuma backstory is going to colour their future interactions. It adds a nice new layer to the past few threads! I liked to hear Genma's assessment of his team - and Kakashi as tender-hearted! Haha. I love the different angles that all the characters come at each other from, and how they all see different qualities in a single person.
Grow Teeth and Pursue
The kids were feeling their oats. Raidou could barely keep track of the rapid-shifting alliances between Kakashi, Katsuko, and Ryouma as they squabbled, challenged, teased, and whetstoned each other’s edges. He only interfered once, when Kakashi looked tempted to commit actual homicide.
Which is my fave part of threads rn, the kids learning to get along. xD
Ryouma traded a glance with Kakashi and cracked his knuckles, murmuring something that sounded a lot like, “Tigers.”
To Raidou’s great surprise, Kakashi gave a low little growl that shivered in the air like something blood-drenched. It clanged weird harmonics into the prehistoric parts of Raidou’s brain that suddenly wanted to be off the ground. Ryouma just grinned, broad and white, like he’d expected that.
Katsuko made a savagely amused sound.
Well, at least they were bonding.
And again. <333333333333333333333333333 I love the slight separation in the team as sort of kids and mentors (not quite, but in some situations) and how the younger three are bonding but still have important relationships with their seniors. But Kakashi, Katsuko and Ryouma are sort of on the same level so there is a bit more casualness, and it's sweet.
2014-04-30 08:07 pm (UTC)
No Quiet Man's Descent
ASDFJKL This thread made my day. Or even my week- just, just affffkdkjfslkj so amazing. I've never left a comment in the guest book- tumblr, yes, but guest book no, but after that, I just had to.
"Tigers, Ryouma’s voice whispered in the back of her mind. The memory of Kakashi’s snarl shivered in her hindbrain. Katsuko’s mouth tilted up in satisfaction. “My turn,” she said."
Just, yes. Because for all of Katsuko's bounciness, she is also ANBU. I was talking to silverstar about those moments that you remember that these people are killers (can't remember the exact quote- Genma with murder in his eyes? It was a whole lot more poetic than that), and this entire post was like one giant moment of 'Ah, yes, they're dangerous. Really, really, /lethally/ dangerous. And that's normal. Because its their job.' Last time it was 'nice guy' Genma, and this time it was bouncy, hyper Katsuko with all of her subtleties. "My turn" indeed.
Another thing I noticed was Katsuko's focus (not unexpected cause I've read the first mission, but so deliberate- "Katsuko folded the image into the back of her mind, fitting it in with all the other things that weren’t the mission, and reached for the quiet clarity of purpose." Another fav part!)
And- one more thing about Katsuko- the way she killed Tomoko & fam while Raidou's being berserker. The child is handled- well, gently. Still lethal, but not cruel and really fast. MORE LAYERS. She seems to know exactly what she's doing- how many times has she killed kids to choose to handle them like that? You've been hinting- well, basically explicitly said- that Katsuko has issues with small children and missions/violence in general, and Raidou's backing her because their target has small children, and he doesn't want to have her kill them. And then she kills the little girl- should I be anticipating some post-mission fallout?
"I'd love to see how you would write genjutsu used in battle - maybe Kurenai? Or an enemy?" Silverstar's gonna be doing happy dances now. You just granted her wish, and it was awesome. Also really interesting to see how Raidou fights back, because he's not great with genjutsu (everything is so /fast/). And his reaction to seeing Katsuko die. Usually Raidou's the steady one, the stable captain, and everything just blew up in his face so fast. I love how you did that, because it is impossible for people to always be stable and everyone has a snapping point. Raidou's violent reaction makes him all that more human/realistic and gives him more layers that I'm too keyed up to dissect properly (LAYERS, yay!)- like, him and Katsuko's relationship development, yesh.
And thus, another favorite part: "That wasn't real. He'd left her behind, alive. He'd done the nesting-doll universe of genjutsu and lost his grip, but she'd broken the world back together. He'd given it up again to kill the last enemy part of it, but he'd left her safe. His death and hers, both fake. The baby's death: real. He couldn’t see Katsuko fall again. He didn’t know what else to fight."
2014-05-06 03:57 am (UTC)
No Quiet Man's Descent
Fuck this thread was some horror-of-ANBU-life and mental breakdown shit. Love it. Looking forward to the Kakashi/Ryouma/Genma version...
She went down on one knee, cradling the mess he’d made of her stomach. Her uniform was shredded and scorched all over, but her eyes were still calm.
“They haven’t done anything,” she said.
One of the things that I've always liked about the way you wonderful people write your battle scenes is the way your enemy-nin -- even those torture-obsessed missing-nins -- have enough personality and characterization to humanize them to the reader. Even the Mist-nin in the latest thread, Aoisuke and the others, the reader gets the sense that they were just soldiers like our protagonists, doing their best to complete the mission.
Ducked Aoisuke's frantic sword swipe as chakra splintered apart, jutsu unformed, and lunged up to drive a clenched fist into Aoisuke's chest.
Ribs snapped beneath his knuckles.
I don't remember Raidou's taijutsu being so...visceral...in Fallen Leaves (it has been a while though), but I'm really loving it here. What a badass.
Yo, what's up with Katsuko and snapping collarbones? Girl's gotta watch that...
By the way, this is unrelated to a Raidou/Katsuko-centric thread, but I just want to say that one of my favorite non-canon inventions (which, as all of your non-canon inventions, has become canon for me) is Kakashi's ability to snarl/growl and speak canine. Do you have plans to bring back some of that pack-mentality/alpha status stuff from FL at all? This is just pure curiosity -- I found that aspect of his character in FL to be an interesting interpretation of his psychology, but I realize there's not much chance to explore that if you even wanted to in Legacy without an Inuzuka with whom to interact.
Anyway, I love your work as always and I can't wait until the next thread :)
2014-05-06 10:19 pm (UTC)
Hey just wanted to let you guys know I'm loving the new spin on Fallen Leaves. Anbu Legacy is different but in a good way. I can't wait to see what's coming next. Also I really like the idea if Minato living. I can't wait to see all the characters develop. Plus I'm so happy to see all of my old favourite characters back (Genma, Raidou, Kakashi and Ryouma. Sorry katsuko is new to me but I enjoy reading about her very much). Thank you for taking the time to write these stories.
My cold has finally abated enough that I can actually write this, hurrah!
No Quiet Man's Descent
I found this a very unsettling read - mostly because one of the biggest scare factors for me is when the pov character is unable to distinguish illusion and reality, or there is the threat of it. Nothing can be trusted!
I loved this side of Katsuko as well - she's very interesting when she's in her professional role. I liked the little nod to Kakashi and Ryouma with the callback to 'tigers', and how it shows that even when the team are working separately they are still tucked into the back of each other's heads.
The biggest impression I got was of confusion and chaos - I often had problems following or went wait, what, which really worked for me with the general 'what is real' feeling of the thread. Everything is on fire and everyone is bleeding!
Also, Raidou going beserker! Ahhhh, so great. He's usually such a level headed dude as well that it was such a nice contrast to Katsuko's attitude - they sort of swap places, and I love the fluidity.
“Oh,” Katsuko said at first, because anything else she could offer in response paled in comparison. She had to try, though. “I’d do the same. If you were the one who—if I thought—” she struggled for eloquence and came up empty. In desperation, she offered, “Do you want a hug?”
In retrospect, Katsuko really should have expected the ringing emptiness that greeted her and Raidou when they opened the safehouse door.
I will admit that this is the point where I scream-cackled.
Salt the Earth
Kakashi caught it, saving the movement it would have taken him to draw his own, and twisted through one vicious, scything circle. Three bodies fell. He let the sword drop back on its former owner—good steel, but poor balance—and went for the house.
Yes, I giggled. How gloriously lazy and amazing.
The scene in the bedroom is really gruesome but interesting? I was hanging on to every tiny detail.
Ryouma leaned over the bed and set both hands on Tsuto's belly. He let the chakra seep in, instead of shoving. Tsuto's anemic chakra system was nothing like a shinobi's robust pathways, barely a life-sustaining flicker instead of coils brimming with fire, but there was enough and more than enough for the Human Flesh Melt Technique to seize and eat. The crumpled sleeping yukata rotted away like the gloves, and Ryouma's fingertips sank into a spongy mass of tissue that dissolved beneath his touch, releasing a fetid reek of decay.
Tsuto screamed and did not stop.
Ryouma pulled back, cutting the jutsu. Tsuto writhed, wrenched one hand free from the kunai in a shower of blood, and curled onto his side, trying to hold his belly with his ruined hand. His fingers sank inside. Liquid rot spilled like blood onto the bedding, and Tsuto's scream found a new throat-shredding pitch.
For me this was definitely the horror peak of the thread. Argh argh argh, SPONGY.
2014-05-22 05:58 pm (UTC)
The sheer number of times I have been can't stop blinking, can no longer words properly so tired, but stayed up to keep reading threads is beyond count.
You guys are such brilliant and amazing writers. I love your characters and your universe and all the world building.
I love it all (especially baby Naruto. Never let him grow up, please. Though I am tempted to see how this Naruto grows up), please don't stop anytime soon.
2014-05-23 11:50 pm (UTC)
Hi, you guys - Apparently comments in the guestbook make you happy so here I am...delurking...
I found Fallen Leaves a while ago (years ago?) through whoever wrote Tsume (JB?). She had links to Fallen Leaves up on her site and I was all like, "What is that. Why are there so many links here. What is happening. What is RP." I stayed away from Fallen Leaves for a while, actually, until I ran out of things to read from my favorite authors. Then I made a decision to give Fallen Leaves a try. ("Maybe I'll like it," I said.)
Man. I blew through everything that had been posted in an extremely short period of time (days?), then threw a fit when I realized there was no more and that I'd have to wait for new posts. Then I promptly re-read everything. I think I've gone through all of Fallen Leaves at least eight times. At least. And I'm still going back and reading some of those threads in-between posts here at Legacy. I am so addicted.
Enough about Fallen Leaves and how obsessed I am with your writing. No, scratch that, because I am so obsessed with your writing. All of you are so Good with words in a way that I would never be able to replicate (see use of word "good" to describe you) but I am so glad that I can at least appreciate your talent. Please keep writing forever.
After the announcement about FL stopping, I had a panic attack (not actually, but I cried a little and flailed a lot) and kept checking back Just In Case you guys changed your minds. I then cried a little and flailed a lot when I checked back and saw the announcement about Legacy.
I'll stop using the word after this but I flailed around some more when I realized just how different Legacy was going to be (and I loved it).
If I spent the time inserting quotes I liked in this comment, I would be here all day (not that that's a bad thing, but I've already spent a lot of time here trying to make myself not sound like a swooning fangirl). I'd still like to say that the change in Kakashi is wonderful. The way he's written now definitely reflects having Minato and Rin around, without the loneliness and bitterness from FL. His younger age also leaves lots of room for teenage shenanigans -
Kakashi thought once more about hot breath against his ear, a calloused thumb brushing his hipbone, d’you top or bottom?, and yanked a pillow down over his face to drown the embarrassed groan.
Everyone has gone through that, or something like it. It is so very real.
Another line I liked from that same thread (it is called a thread, right? am I saying it wrong?) -
If there was a good reason for the tears, Minato’s standing policy was to apply hugs, hang on for the ride, and attempt a rational discussion in the aftermath.
What a good policy. For children and adults both.
Anyway...all of these characters are amazing. I also just realized that they all have character pages I will go read them now thank you very much. My personal favorite has always been Ryouma but Katsuko is really creeping up on him. I am starting to really love her and it's a wonderful feeling. Raidou and Genma are always great together, as lovers or not-lovers or partners or team-mates. They're just so solid. I can't think of one without thinking of the other.
You guys are just such awesome writers. I love you all. Before I make my exit - another favorite is Raidou talking to Minato for team assignments:
That earned him a direct smile—a warm, personal lift of the corners of Yondaime-sama’s mouth, which did not make Raidou flush, goddamit.
I lied. One more from your most recent post -
The generator took a bit of cajoling, but some helpful soul had left a wrench and hastily chalked instructions on the wall: bang until working.
Okay. I'm done embarrassing myself now.
Lovingly heartbroken by the aftermath of their missions. Keep up the good work, everybody. :)
2014-05-26 05:48 pm (UTC)
I am truly impressed. I found my way to this site only by accident...
I just skipped around on ff.net and saw the link to this site and thought 'why not'... I would never have guessed to stumble upon such great pieces of art.
I love your stories, I just read everything in a couple of days and it kept me so captured I was (nearly) unable to stop. I read a lot of Naruto-fanfiction and every time I look there is less stuff I haven't read and really like, so thank you even more for this unexpected present.
I just love the insight you give into every character. I am a huge Kakashi-fan but I really like every character you wrote and created. Surprisingly even the new ones. These stories are really well written.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. You totally made my day(s).
I am so looking Forward to more of your well written, exciting, funny and brutally honest work.
Please excuse my mistakes, I am not a native Speaker.
2014-07-10 06:56 am (UTC)
You guys brighten my day every time you post a new thread.
It's been a while! I'm pleased to see things might be getting a bit better for you all. I hope everything is okay, Ki!
Guilty Filthy Souls
Genma stared after them and sighed. Maybe it was personal.
Katsuko lifted her head from the blanket nest. “It's not that you don't have a nice butt, lieutenant,” she said drowsily. “It's just that Ryouma's butt can't make me run laps if it catches me looking at it.” There was a long pause. “I didn't say that.”
I just loved Genma sighing about his supposed lack of desirability.
Kakashi jerked awake in a shattering of dream fragments, tight panic, and enough adrenaline for one violent movement. Everything blurred. Then it stopped, crystallizing around a picture that slowly made sense.
His hand, a half-inch away from Genma's breakable fingers. And Raidou's hand, broad and bandaged, wrapped around Kakashi's wrist.
“Easy, Hatake,” Raidou murmured. “He’s supposed to do that.”
Kakashi swallowed his hammering heartbeat down. “Don’ make her scream,” he managed, as the world folded in on itself.
Raidou caught him before he hit the mattress.
This has stuck with me for a while, because I think it's a really sharp and lovely instant that shows what they are all becoming, and Kakashi's hidden sweetness and protectiveness.
“Thirty second version,” Raidou said. “We hit Kiri-ninja from the start. They’d had time to set up. You already know about the genjutsu. They… got under my skin. The upshot is that I killed two, Ueno got the rest, and we took care of the mission objective. Downside: the house burned down to the studs, Ueno took unnecessary injuries, and I might’ve… broken part of the port.”
Genma blinked. “Broken the port?”
“Just the shipping docks,” Raidou said, studying the wall. “Only half of it. And a couple of piers.” He scratched the back of his neck. “And three or four ships.”
Hee. Raidou is the calm, collected, practical leader...until he really isn't.
I really liked Raidou talking things out with Ryouma and trying to fix the unevenness between them - and the admission that, really, that one-night stand really wasn't worth it, even if it was awesome at the time. That the friendship and solidarity they can have now really is better than a cold bed in the morning.
Iebara was one of Kirikagure’s monsters, known for leaving blood-wrecked disaster wherever he landed and not much in the way of identifiable bodies. If he’d been using actual blood, that probably explained a thing or two.
He was also rumored to be unkillable.
Raidou stared at the back of Kakashi's silver head and thought, Okay, then.
That's just me, grinning gleefully. Kakashi's always the one with the high and tragic noble drama, epic fights in epic weather, right? xD
The High Road
She looked down at him.
She looked at her IV.
Bright red droplets beaded around the taped needle.
“I’m going to hollow out your skull and use it as a flower vase,” she said hoarsely.
Kakashi grabbed her by the hair, making her twitch. “Tousaki,” he forced out. “Lieutenant.”
I liked this reminder that they all really do tread carefully most of the time, wearing kid gloves and pretending to be gentle.
Then, from down the hallway, the clone’s voice echoed loudly, “Ewwwwww!”
Ryouma jolted upright. “Whassit?”
That... didn’t sound fatal.
Distantly, there was the dull chakra-crack of a clone exiting the universe. Katsuko’s expression creased into faint horror as she got the clone’s memories, and that was not reassuring. “Lieutenant’s draining a leg wound,” she said, before Kakashi made a legitimate effort to scramble upright. “There’s blood, but he’s got it under control. He’s sewing it up.”
Kakashi sagged with relief. “Oh.”
Ryouma buried his face in his hands and sighed. Muffled, he said, “Does he need help?”
Katsuko moved to rub her face, almost accidentally yanked Kakashi into herself, and made a last minute trade for a one-shouldered shrug. “Didn’t seem too bad. My clone dispelled itself before it could get a good look, though.”
Hahaha, gross. xD I love them all.
“Dead-last,” Kakashi said. He thumbed the line of wetness away from beneath his left eye. Obito’s eye stung protest. “Maybe Ryouma, except I think he punches people instead. He punched me.”
“Oh, good,” Katsuko said distantly. Her face was unreadable, but light hazel eyes lingered on his wet fingertips. “What did you do?”
“Existed,” Kakashi said, put upon.
Katsuko snorted. “There, there, my little riceball,” she said, and patted him on the head. She lifted her hand and tapped Kakashi’s cheek gently, on the Sharingan side. “Don’t tell me anything more about this.”
Oh, it hurts so good. :P I love that Katsuko is all, hmmm, maybe it's best he doesn't tell me his dark and deepest painful secrets. Just, they are the sweetest right now, okay. And all three of them together are hilarious and adorable. And their little "omg Kakashi is LAUGHING wtf faces."
“You’re so fluffy,” Katsuko said, marvelling.
“M’not fluffy. Professional killer, be ‘fraid,” Kakashi said, vaguely nettled. Someone’s nails scratched gently across his scalp and he added, involuntarily, “Mmm.”
I'm a puddle on the floor, this is adorable, send help.
“How about a cold compress?” Genma said.
“Wouldn’t kick it out of bed,” Kakashi said, which made Katsuko laugh into her stolen pillows.
Kakashi needs alllll the drugs.
Kakashi patted Genma’s wrist and then, on impulse, reached up to catch one of the sun-streaked tendrils of hair framing the lieutenant’s face. Genma went very still. Kakashi turned the tendril between his fingers, watching it catch the light.
“Don’t cut this,” he told Genma.
Genma’s skin was still the color of old snow, but a faint ghost of heat tinged his cheeks pink, and a reluctant smile broke through his restraint.
OH KAKASHI, you charmer. I'm cackling so hard, but I can't quote everything ever.
Puppy pile! And Ryouma needs a hug, everything is amazing.
Kakashi reached up and found the ruffled edge of messy hair, the rougher edge of an unshaven jaw. He patted the side of Ryouma’s face with an open hand.
“S’okay,” he said, hazy. “Whatever it is, we can kill it.”
Ryouma’s laugh shivered in the air, raspy. “Sure. If anyone could, it’d be you.”
OH DEAR, OH DEAR.